Why the f*ck do I keep doing this?!

You want to instill a new habit.

You know this new habit is helpful and supportive.

You know all the benefits of the new habit.

You know you want to break and shift away from an old habit.

You know the old habit isn’t helpful or supportive of your goals and of becoming the person you want to be.

So WHY THE F*CK is it so hard to start doing the new habit and stop doing the old one?!

A big part of this answer is the same reason that I found myself continually opening my broken refrigerator last week to look for food even though I knew it was broken...

Habits form when actions are repeated consistently in the same or similar context, creating a mental shortcut that allows our brain to save effort. I kept going to the broken fridge because this is where I’ve gone for the past three years to find food in my house. Being in my kitchen, being hungry, and preparing a meal at my usual meal times all triggered this habit—it’s an ingrained pattern and pathway.

The same thing happens with you and your habits that you want to break—having a beer or glass of wine when you get home from a day at work, snacking on a bag of chips while watching TV, pressing the snooze button in the morning...

These habits are automatic and will repeat themselves even if you don’t want to engage in them unless you work to break them and form new ones.

Here’s how you can do that:

Awareness: You’re likely here already. Awareness is key. You’ve recognized the habit, and now you can create further awareness of the triggers.

Disruption: Work on actively interrupting the old habit. This could involve self-talk, writing notes, or creating friction (like putting your phone across the room so it’s harder to press the snooze button or not buying the chips/drinks). The key is disrupting and not fully engaging in the behavior, thus changing the pattern. *Note: this step is challenging- I really encourage you to CELEBRATE the disruptions and even be grateful for them and yourself for creating them. This step is challenging and can feel frustrating and discouraging… remember, when you disrupt, you’re doing cool shit!

Formation of New Habits: Create a new habit to replace the old one and repeat that behavior in the same or similar contexts until it becomes automatic. For example, you could go for a walk when you get home from work or have a bowl of yogurt and berries while watching TV.

Changing patterns and behaviors is not instantaneous. It takes time for the brain to adjust and form new connections. It took you A LONG TIME to instill that old behavior, and it’s not just going to go away in a snap because you want it to. This is why patience and persistence are crucial. By repeatedly practicing the new behavior, you reinforce the new neural pathways, making the new habit more automatic and reducing the likelihood of reverting to the old behavior.

Happy habit breaking and habit making!

If you know you’d benefit from more personalized support on your journey to building better habits, reach out! Let’s work together to create lasting change!

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