Putting yourself into the position of power

I had a call with someone recently who has been feeling really overwhelmed with her schedule. She explained that she has so much on her calendar with work, social events, and travel that she’s been feeling very out of control and like she barely has any capacity to take care of herself.

She felt like the few days when she was home and had a fairly normal work day, she had a lot more control over what her food looked like and like she could build in movement to her day, but when she had work events, social outings, or was away from home, she had very little control.

Let me pause here to explain that I get this. I’ve been there. I’m guessing you might be able to relate too…

A few things we discussed that were very helpful to her and will be helpful for you if you’re feeling like you’re in a similar situation:

Switch from playing defense to playing offense. Playing defense continually is exhausting and isn’t rewarding unless you switch to offense. Planning ahead, saying no, bringing your own food, and putting yourself into a solution-oriented place are all ways to put yourself into an offensive position. 

Ask what else is true. Your mind will create a narrative that is likely negative. For example, I have a work event and have no control over anything so that throws me completely off track. What else could be true? You’re not completely off track because of this event and you can choose how you behave before, during and after it. 

Complete the thought. Your mind is going to initially go to the reactive and negative place- for example, I’m away and am out of my routine. If you stop there, you’ll spiral into thinking about all the things that you can’t do and you’ll feel even worse. Complete the thought- I’m away and a out of my routine and, I can still make sure I get in a balanced first meal, find opportunities to move my body throughout the day, and can read before bed. This helps you (and your stress systems) to chill the F out.

Like anything, it takes time to feel truly confident navigating a busy or unpredictable schedule. But the great thing is that when you practice these small shifts, you’ll almost immediately feel less stressed and more in control.

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